thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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