I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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