Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
