Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
