I accidentally had phone sex last night
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
