loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
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