Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i drank out of a bidet.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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