You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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