I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize