Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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