i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
