I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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