It's Friday. Sex?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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