She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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