i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
