Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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