somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
