no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
