That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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