When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize