No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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