Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
