I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
