i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
