i would punch a child for taco bell
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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