Midget sex pt 2 tonight
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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