Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
