I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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