can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
