Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
