chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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