Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
