After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
