have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
