take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
