you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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