Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize