nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
