Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
