His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
