Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
