This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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