that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize