exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
What a dumb baby whore.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
