shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
