Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
