What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
