At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize