Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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