Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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