I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
