i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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