I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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