marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
