the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
