Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize