For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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