You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
