Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
