my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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