New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
