This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
