Im at strip club and am horny
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
