yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
