what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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