She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
